Monday, July 20, 2009

IJM is the New FML

Look, I realize that FML is the greatest thing to happen to the internet since TFLN, which is the best thing to happen since Facebook, which is the best thing to happen since YouTube and before that AOL chat rooms were still cool.

Nonethless, I'm sick of the constant complaining that is now justified by ending the complaint with FML. "I have a pimple, FML." "Stubbed my toe, FML." "I had just mediocre sex last night, FML." Look, your life isn't fucked, you're just normal. Something ranging from a minor annoyance to an actual bad thing happened to you today...and also to everybody else.

Someone once told me that a friend of hers found out that her boyfriend was cheating on her by going through his text messages and finding one from his ex that said "I can't do anal any more, I'm getting hemroids." That's a legitimate fuck my life situation. She submitted it to FML and it got voted down--no no, the readers prefer things that couldn't make their whining pale in comparison.

So this weekend I made a commitment to myself that I would be incredibly punctual this week--no more running into the office 5 minutes late, no matter what the red line is doing. This morning, I was perfectly on time, caught a red line train just right, was going to be the last person to fit on, and my contact fell out. I had to run back to my apartment and replace it and I ended up 20 minutes late, which cost me personal time. FML? No. It's just Monday. IJM. Pass it on.


  1. The next big thing:

    For example: "I tried to start a new catch-phrase to compete with FML, except someone already beat me to it. I still like mine better. MLIA."

    /like the blog so far