Saturday, July 18, 2009

Food. Damn You For Tasting So Good. Now I Can't Enjoy You Anymore

So with the wedding looming and the metabolism slowing as a result of age, I asked my sister to have her trainer design a diet for me. Let me share an excerpt:

Meal 1: I cup oatmeal cooked in water w/ 1 scoop of protein powder and a handful of mixed berries
Meal 2: 3 oz chicken, fish or turkey, 1 medium sweet potato (baked)
Meal 3: 1 VPX Protein Bar
Meal 4: 3 oz chicken, fish or turkey, 2 cups steamed veggies with 1-2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
Meal 5: Apple or pear and a handful of nuts

In addition to this stringent meal plan, I am instructed to take several vitamins and add protein powder to all kinds of stuff. When I spoke with the trainer about the diet (and address a handful of foods I refuse to eat), he explained the science behind some of this stuff to me. Apparently, I need to clear the fat from my liver (read: no alcohol) with foods like beets or artichoke extract supplements. Clearing the fat from my liver will enable my body to more efficiently burn the fat it has stored.


Look, I do not profess to be a nutritionist - and I certainly don't study this stuff in my free time. But when did it get so hard not to be fat?! Our parents didn't have to weigh their food or add protein powder to yogurt to stay fit. What has become of us?

Please feel free to hazard a guess as to how long I will last on this low carb, almost zero sugar and nearly fat free (and did I mention alcohol free) diet. Maybe proving you all wrong will be just the motivation I need.


  1. I don't think the liver actually stores much fat, it mostly stores glycogen or something like that. If I remember correctly it's the chemical in between sugar and energy. When you need it, or caffeine tells your body you need it, your liver dumps it into the blood stream. Once that's gone (and other wells of glycogen are depleted), your body starts to break down fats. Now, if your liver doesn't store much to begin with, the body amps up its fat breakdown when it needs energy that much sooner.

  2. Once, my dad went on this diet where he had to take a shot of olive oil and swallow two sugar cubes every few hours. Your diet sounds substantially less stupid than his.

  3. I'm all for reasonable dieting, but no alcohol? I say stick to red wine and the occasional real cocktail (i.e. vodka & soda, try to avoid the deliciously sugary margaritas and cosmos) and you will be fine. There isn't a great deal of sugar in those delicious adult beverages :) As I used to hate my parents for saying, "everything in moderation" seems to work pretty well.

    Good luck!!!