Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Diet: Kinda Day 3 - But Really Day 1

So while I technically started the diet on Sunday, I totally cheated last night. Hence, today is officially day 1. And, I think I am going to truly hate this.

First and foremost, I love carbs and I love sugar. Hell, I love sugary carbs. Any of those are a total no-no. I have already mentioned the alcohol, but it was too painful to share this nugget before. Diet Coke is also forbidden. I live for Diet Coke. If I could hook fountain soda directly into my veins - I would. I would live in Atlanta if only never to hear a waiter say - "Diet Pepsi okay?" For the record, when asked that question, I respond, "I'll have an iced tea."

So, needless to say, the diet will be rough. But beyond giving up all these tasty treats, I have so little variety. Two meals a day will be 3 ounces of some lean meat with veggies and at least one of the remaining three involves yogurt. I am bored, and I have really only stuck to this stupid diet for 2 whole days!

Even the gym is conspiring against me! THE GYM! The place where not eating crap shouldn't be hard. But, when I dragged my grumpy (Diet Coke and carb-less) ass down there, THEY HAD PIZZA FOR THE MEMBERS! What kind of sick, twisted, sadistic shit is that?! People go there to work off pizza, not eat it. I know I won't be safe at work - there is always some sort of candy or carb-y temptation lurking. I know I am not safe at home, because the fiance is not joining me on this crazy diet. But the gym - the gym should be my sanctuary. The only smells wafting through it should be unpleasant (and believe you me, it is like a BO factory at this place).

I sometimes feel that the whole world is against me and that no one thinks I should be as thin as I want to be. To be fair, I want to be so thin as to appear almost unhealthy, but this is America, isn't it? Shouldn't I be allowed to be emaciated. Or is that only okay if I am famous? Because if so, I can get myself on a reality show and clock in for my 15 minutes.

1 comment:

  1. try this diet, it totally worked for me in college:

    breakfast: bagel
    lunch: maybe a salad
    dinner: enough vodka to take out tara reid

    you pass out after dinner so you dont even realize how hungry you are and when you wake up that bagel is just about the only thing you can process :)