I Used to Like People

I used to be so gregarious, so social, so interested in other people - so much like my mother. But, as I get older, I now find my self turning into a serious misanthrope - much more like my dad. Lately, I have started to really listen to myself as I go on and on about the stupidity of this person or the irritating qualities of that person and I wonder, "what the fuck is happening to me?!"

I mean, I have friends and a relatively active social life. But, I find that increasingly I just don't like people anymore. The more I think about the problem, the more I realize that it all started when I began taking mass transit/commuting to work.

When I was growing up in Phoenix (a city but not a real city), I didn't mind crowds. I loved chatting up strangers and being places where I could meet new, interesting people. Then, after college when I began working in San Francisco, my interest in these things waned. And then I moved to DC.

DC is a really cool city. It's very young - very alive. But, it's also very full of self-important, self-aggrandizing tools. You hear it all the time on the Metro. People (especially those just out of college and working on the Hill) love to name drop. They tend to think they are literally the most important, most irreplaceable person on the face of the planet. Dare I say, many of them feel they are as (if not more) important than the politician they work for.

And because DC is such a cool city, we are infested with tourists for 9 months of the year. When Winter ends, two plagues descend on the city: the bugs the size of small vermin and tourists who have never seen the following:

Escalators
Light rail or subway systems
Malls with more than four stores
Homeless people

How do I know they have never seen these things? Simple - they take photos of them. And they always seem to manage to be in the way while doing so.

So what's a girl to do? I can't move, and even if I did, I can't go back to suburban city living. I could drive to work (thus avoiding the throngs of humanity I must interact with on mass transit), but the car takes premium and gas is more than $4.00/gallon. I guess I have no choice. I just need to resign myself to the fact that I am turning into my father (but hopefully without the mustache).

9021-NO

As is well-documented, Elle and I love the CW schlock – especially the 9-0 reboot and the prematurely canceled Melrose revisited. But, perhaps sadly, it runs deeper for me. I almost have a maternal attachment to the show. I feel invested.

Let me explain. I had such high hopes before the show premiered. I was like a proud new mama that thought her baby could do anything! Be anyone! Go anywhere! And then the terrible twos set in. The show was horrid. Anna Lynn McCord was wooden, Shenae Grimes confused emoting with the look one gets on their face when constipated, and they revealed how poorly the beloved Brenda Walsh had aged. But then there was hope. The show grew into a precocious child, renewing the sense of promise it once had. The story lines were interesting. The acting was better. Sure, it was still a sudsy ridiculous soap, but it was fun!

And now, we appear to have hit the teen years. Those dreaded teen years. The once fanciful implausible plots have become dark, moody, and just plain stupid. For example, on a recent Spring Break trip to Mexico (on a private jet?!), Annie got bit by a monkey, Ivy realized she didn’t need pot to surf (seriously, WTF), and Adriana replaced Silver’s medicine for her bi-polar disorder with Tylenol.

I have watched a lot of soap opera villains do a lot of crazy shit, but I don’t even get to what end one would replace someone’s medication for being manic-depressive. Does she want her to commit suicide? No, that’s too dark. Does she want her to go manic so her boyfriend breaks up with her? Probably, but in what real world situation would someone break up with their bipolar girlfriend (when he knows she is bipolar) for having a manic or depressive episode? I mean, wouldn’t one of her dozens of friends and loved ones who all know about her condition just intervene and suggest she see her doctor to readjust her meds?

There is always hope that the post-teenage years will straighten out this wayward TV show. But, what I guess makes me the most nervous is that perhaps it isn’t the show. Perhaps it’s me. Maybe it is finally time to stop watching shows whose target audiences get the appeal of Justin Bieber. Could it be that it isn't the shows growing pains but my own that I am reacting to?

Nah. It's the show.

Adventures in NOLA

This bitch recently spent a glorious long weekend in NOLA. I got some sun, gained what feels like 5 pounds, and experienced a few things worth blogging about!

Things I learned in New Orleans:

1) The Ritz Carlton Hotel has the song “Puttin’ on the Ritz” on a seemingly endless loop

2) Bourbon street smells exactly how you think it would – a combination of spilled drinks, urine, vomit and hot dog cart (and vomit that has an air of eau de hot dog cart and hurricane)

3) You do not want to work at Café Du Monde

4) Nicholas Cage doesn’t know his own address but apparently knows Dog the Bounty Hunter

5) Delta has the world’s rudest flight attendant in its employ. Her name is Ashleigh, and she literally berated my husband for requesting another soda (politely mind you). The exchange was as follows:

Mr. Bitch: Excuse me. May I have another Coke when you have a minute? (No, I am rewriting history to make him more polite).

Ashleigh (an actual bitch): I can’t just give everyone another soda. I already gave you the full can, which I am not supposed to do. We can’t just give everyone multiple cans of soda.

Mr. Bitch: Okay…

Ashleigh: Walks off to the back of the plane in a huff

As soon as we landed, I promptly tweeted about the incident: @Delta rudest flight attendant on #3410 MSY->DCA. "Ashleigh" berated my husband 4 requesting another coke. U condone rudeness 2 save soda?

To Delta’s credit, I did receive a prompt reply from @DeltaAssist. But, I am uncertain anything came of it. And, it isn’t enough.

First and foremost, when did it become obnoxious to ask for another soda (literally the only free thing on a flight anymore)? If it is a supply issue (which, this was a commuter flight so it might have been), then just say that. Don’t berate a paying customer for a simple request – one, I might mention, that is complied with on ANY OTHER major or budget carrier than flies the friendly skies.

Beyond that, when did it become acceptable for flight attendants – the customer service representative on the flight – to hate their customers so much? No, we weren’t in first class, but if you hate serving people, FIND ANOTHER LINE OF WORK.

And finally, why do we as paying consumers stand for asinine policies and rudeness? The airport is enough of a horror show without being treated like scum once on the plane.

So, readers, if there are any of you left due to the infrequency of recent posts, help me. I need to craft a complaint letter to Delta, and I am open to suggestions! Please submit your comments and help me take a stand for every mistreated coach passenger on any flight!