Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Trying to Start a Blog War

Perez Hilton is a tool. He is totally bought in to his own hype. Now, I am going to be honest. I absolutely check his blog daily. I don't know why, but I can't stop.

But, that does not mean I respect him or think he's a good writer. I mean, he has thousands (if not millions) of readers and his posts are riddled with typos. More than 90% of his posts are quotes pulled from actual news sources (read, glossy magazines and tabloids) and photos of celebs with penises or compliments drawn all over them. And seriously, with all the money he makes, can he not do a better job of building his site and integrating advertising?! His stupid ads make the blog annoying to read - well, more annoying than the shameless self-promotion and the ridiculous lingo he employs (faboosh!).

So, why would a self-proclaimed reader of this drivel attack him on a much less popular and read blog, you may ask? Well, I am hoping to start a blog war! Suck it, Perez! I mean, you know the narcissist has a Google Alert set up for himself, so he can see what others are saying. Maybe if I write enough nasty stuff about him, he will write nasty stuff about us, and then we'll get more readers (and some annoyingly integrated advertisements). Really, there's no downside here.

So, Perez Hilton, I challenge you to a blog duel. I can reprint "news" from Us Weekly and talk crap about Speidi as well as you can (and I can certainly do it with fewer typos and a more extensive vocabulary). So, whatcha made of Mario Armando Lavandeira? That's right, I called you out by the name your momma gave you. What do you think of that?


  1. You totally took the words out of my mouth! (or typed them out of my mouth, I don't actually know how to translate that metaphor to apply to the blogosphere).

    One thing: on the subject of annoying perezisms, I find his constant use of "amazeballs" far more offensive to the English language than "faboosh" will ever be. Not to go all Regina George on him but: STOP TRYING TO MAKE AMAZEBALLS HAPPEN PEREZ! IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!

    Also, his openly-gay-man's hard-on for Lady GaGa has got to go. She's all image, no substance. Just a waste of sperm and egg. And kinda a bitch. And not in the good, 2B1B way either . . .

  2. Hmm. Interesting that there are typos in this very blog...mere sentences after tattling on Perez for having blogs "riddled with typos"...

  3. The single typo is fixed. Anonymous poster, thanks for the tip, and maybe think about revealing yourself if you're going to give me a hard time.

  4. Okay, my name is Melanie and I live in Santa Barbara. I'm vegetarian and own a Honda Civic. Anything else you want to know?

    It wasn't really the single typo that bothered me. Frankly, I don't think Perez could care less about 2 Bitches 1 Blog, so I found it a little desperate and childish (sorry - just being honest) to go looking for attention like this. It's true that he may "reprint" stories, but after all, he is one of the original celebrity bloggers with tons of followers. Regardless of how he earned his fame, he's big now - no question about it.

  5. Melanie,

    Thanks for revealing who you are. Obviously Perez doesn't care about our blog. I am just trying to have a little fun.

    Do I really think he is ever going to respond? No, I am not a moron. We are just trying to entertain people while expressing things that annoy, frustrate or please us. Frankly, I find Perez super annoying (and judging by the other commenter to this post and responses I have gotten from friends over gchat, I am not alone).

    And yet, as I admitted, I still read his blog. He is super famous, and I don't understand why. I am sure our little blog will never reach the levels of fame or readership as Perez, but if my childish or desperate little post gets other people to decide they like 2B1B, then it's a success. If it causes others to hate our blog, then truthfully, they probably were going to come to that conclusion over some other post eventually.

  6. I agree with you - I actually decided one day to stop reading Perez because he's so immature and negative! Haven't gone back since...