Thursday, November 12, 2009

DC, We Need to Talk...

About your terrible fashion sense! Winter is upon us and generally one would think that folks would cover up against the cold. Apparently not.

I've been a fan of tights, particularly instead of leggings. They're difficult to confuse with pants (but just in case you wondered, NOT PANTS. Neither leggings nor tights are pants. It's very important that we all recognize this.) And, unlike leggings, they don't cut off height and make short gals (like myself) look shorter.

But the lycra abusers of this city can get all kinds of things wrong. Another thing leggings and tights don't do: make your skirt an appropriate length. Now I'll admit, tights can push that skirt that's on the border of being work appropriate or not over the edge if they're in the same color family and that color is muted, but if your ass is about to peek out of the bottom of your skirt, it doesn't make it ok if it's "covered" with tights. All of the following pictures were taken in the middle of a work day.

Besides having a whole lot of property with a very little real estate on top of it (that's my way of saying "fat ass in a little skirt"), this woman on a cold, windy, rainy day, has chosen to cover her legs with nothing but thin, brightly colored, ugly patterned tights. Patterned tights can be cute, but they can also go very very wrong. They tend to be better on darker colors and thicker tights. Tami once witnessed the most unfortunate patterned tights of all--skin toned pattern tights. Looks. Like. Leg fungus. Long story short, if in the slightest bit of doubt, just say no to patterned tights.



The pattern below is, at least, kind of amusing. I would argue that it's too loud to be work appropriate, and that skirt is unquestionably too short. And last but not least, while I have woken up late for work and thrown on layers of black and gray until I was convinced that there was enough pseudo-matching that it came back around on the other side of fine looking (like how communism becomes sort of like fascism if you go far enough left even though fascism is far right. What, that didn't clarify the theory?) But I'm pretty sure this gal got up, put herself together, and thought she was looking fab. Well honey, you're fat, sparkling and not matching. Also, we don't include faces on this blog, but she had some truly heinous highlights.


And, well, as long as we're taking pictures of people, TWINS!! Maybe shopping with our friends isn't a good idea. [Shrug]

1 comment:

  1. oh, my. BUT. they are trying! and they're not boring.... i give purple lace tights gal and blck + grey swirly tights girl much higher marks, although they missed the mark, than bland quilted jacket twins.

    and extra credit points for the communism/fascism anology!

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