Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Do I Really Need to Explain My Problem with This?

There are many things that horrify me about people on the metro. I'm honestly shocked I haven't talked about more of them yet. Just in general, people think it's OK to act in barely imaginable selfish ways. But something happened today that even I've never seen.

I was doing my usual rush hour commute and the red line was crowded, as usual. I only live 2 stops from work, so it's fairly easy to put up with, but the stop in between work and home (Dupont) is particularly busy. When we got there, several people got on and off, and simply to get out of the way, I took one of the seats by the door.

These seats are the ones with ads behind them that run parallel to the train wall, rather than in perpendicular rows. The point is, sitting in these seats, you're facing out towards those who are standing. The woman standing over me first leaned in to get a good look at the ad behind me...and breathe on my forehead. I let it go.

She then proceeded to take her medium sized umbrella and propped the end of it onto her thigh, holding onto the handle part with her hand, extending her arm away from her body. That is to say, she created a triangle--her thigh and torso make up one leg of the triangle, her arm them creates the angles and forms the second leg, and the umbrella that she is holding and digging into her thigh create the base. It's also protruding threateningly at my throat.

In general, I'm very protective of my throat...too many episodes of Buffy when I was young. Aware of my over sensitivity, I tried hard to let this go--after all, it was only one stop. But then, due to a train stopped in front of us, our train came to a sudden stop and this womanbrella lurched dangerously close to my neck/face. I said to her, "excuse me?" She looked at me confused. Unsure how to explain this, I gestured at her umbrella--still conspicuously in my personal space--and mumbled "I, um..." She still seemed unconcerned.

So, I thought about it. I decided to use my "I" words. Instead of saying, "you're about to jab me in the throat with your umbrella!" I gestured to the umbrella and said, "having that there makes me nervous." (See, totally took responsibility for my feelings...that therapist I had for 3 sessions when I was 6 would be so proud.) That bitch responded by looking at me, looking at her umbrella, rolling her eyes, and saying sarcastically, "Well I certainly wouldn't want you to feel nervous."

Seriously?! Seriously?! It wasn't even raining today. And even if you weren't about to assault me with your umbrella, is there some reason you can't hold the umbrella vertically at your side like a normal person? I too love pointy objects digging into my thigh (seriously, what the fuck?), but could you perhaps not take up unnecessary space on a crowded metro? What don't people understand about this? Drop your shit down to your side, make yourself as small as possible, and try to understand that everyone else has to get home/to work as well and you're not uniquely entitled to an undue amount of space. Too easy.

3 comments:

  1. "Drop your shit down to your side, make yourself as small as possible, and try to understand that everyone else has to get home/to work as well and you're not uniquely entitled to an undue amount of space."

    My thoughts exactly!

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  2. i am *horrified* by the things that men find appropriate to say to single female metro riders.

    sunday morning, i had a horrific journey from virginia square home to the convention center. granted, i was clearly shame-riding after a bit of a crazy saturday night and was still dressed in my costume from the 80s dance party at the black cat.

    relieved that i had finally made it home, i was calmly standing on the escalator at the mt. vernon stop. suddenly, a kevin james lookalike walks up the stairs, pauses next to me and goes "great view from down there."

    i was so shocked i couldn't even respond to his lewd comment - i mean, sunday at 10:30 am, come on! AND my tiered lace skirt just so happens to be an undercover skort, so i know he couldn't see anything from down there...i was thoroughly disgusted.

    he was wearing a wedding band, natch.

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  3. Next time, politely ask her if you can look at her umbrella. When she hands it to you beat her until she "feels" like learning some manners.

    It's what Buffy would do. :)

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