Another Brilliant Tumblr

I was once a cat owner. I lost her in my "divorce." (And I gave her my super rad cat name that I'd been saving until I was an adult and had a pet and my mother couldn't be like "that's so mean, why don't you name her after a season or something." Actually, my mother did say that, but I named the cat Trouble anyway, because they're mischievous and there's nothing you can do about it. And now my ex-wife has my awesome pet name for all eternity and I write little plays in my diary about a weird cat custody scenario where I'm the total dad in the situation and I'm like "Look, it's not that I don't love you, it's that your mother's an unhinged bitch, and noooow she's asking me to pay child support, can you believe that? Oh, sport, you know I'd love to have you come stay with me, but I'm in the one bedroom now, ya know, and work's keeping me really late. As soon as I get a bigger place and another promotion, I promise." Ok, I don't have a diary, but I just made that up for you all right here and now.)

Tami continues to be a cat owner because her marriage is more stable than mine was (because no one in the scenario is batshit insane), so I am now a cat aunt. Anyways, anyone who has ever had a cat and a sexual relationship at the same time knows to shut the door or suffer the fate documented on Cats Watching You Have Sex, which I am honoring as the 2B1B Tumblr blog of the week (a semi-recurring award).

Spring has Sprung!

No, I'm not just talking about the drastically improved weather. It's March Madness, which Cal is in for the first time in, like, forever. And yet, that's still not what's really important. What's really important is that Fug Madness is happening over at Go Fug Yourself. Vote early, vote often.

New Thing We Love: @verymarykate

I haven't see the Olsen twins in a hot minute, but much like their coked out, bleached blond, too thin counterpart Brittany Murphy, I assume someone would let me know if they died (so that we could all defile their Wikipedia profiles without the restrictive Biographies of Living Persons rules.)

Since they're supposedly still alive, our new web crush over at verymarykate.com has settled for portraying them on Vimeo...

Very Mary-Kate, Episode 1 from Mary-Kate Olsen on Vimeo.

Current catchphrase nominee: "Grown up Oxycontin tastes like chalk."

People Ask Me Stupid Questions

Some of them are grammar and/or spelling related. Some of them are how to perform simple computer tasks, like sorting Excel spreadsheets. Some are ever so slightly more complicated technical tasks that are still well within Google's purview. After a recent annoyance, my boyfriend sent me this little gem.

Needless to say, Let Me Google That For You has replaced Kanye This in my heart.

Too Cute to Keep to Myself

I've been slipping on leaves all week (in flip flops, because when it gets unseasonably warm like this, it's wrong not to revert to one's California ways.) But Christopher Neimann did the perfect welcome-to-fall treatment. Almost makes me love the leaves on the ground (and I definitely love the approaching holidays.) This one just happens to be my favorite, but check out the full post--there are several gems. Happy fall, everyone.

Someone had to do it...

I've complained with many friends about family members on Facebook. Some of my friends are now in the older sibling role, where you're raining on all of the irresponsible pseudo-public personal information fun. I myself have been subjected to my mother and my aunts joining Facebook.

My mother feels my Facebook profile hurts my chances for sustained employment because I'm openly a liberal and an atheist, privacy settings, non-discrimination laws, and a vastly different culture outside of the southeast aside.

My aunt believes that, because I update my status with when I'm going to be out of town, there is a very elaborate burglar out there who will Facebook friend me, some how find my address, wait for me to go out of town, hide outside my apartment building until someone leaves the front door open a crack, and then jimmy the lock on my apartment door with a credit card and/or screw driver. Frankly, I'd be flattered at the effort.

Tami and I have commiserated about late comers to the Facebook movement constantly updating their status, commenting on everything I do, and continuously inviting me to accept some flower, small animal or even their hearts [eye roll].

Some geniuses out there started compiling the annoying ridiculousness that parents perpetuate on Facebook in the STFU, Marrieds and Believers style, and we love them!

My New Favorite Band

My dear friends PD and AH pointed me towards this video about how awful pregnant women are, which I just so thoroughly agree with.

Then I started browsing the Garfunkel and Oates channel and found that they're comedy goddesses among women (and the blonde one is super hot.) "Me, You and Steve" is a relatable one for the single gals out there (and LR and LH's fave), but I personally really like this one:

This Party Took a Turn for the Douche by Garfunkel and Oates - watch more funny videos

Oh Internet, How I Love You

As is often a favorite topic of conversation, friends and I were discussing my 38 year old brother's 22 year old girlfriend. We went on an amusing journey through her unprotected Facebook photos and stumbled upon fugly internet gold. Please enjoy.

me: her friend designs ugly ass clothes, wow
Wen: i'm so glad i left the south
me: f'ing tell me about it. look at these ugly ass clothes http://www.facebook.com/search/?q=Devan+Logan&init=quick#/photo.php?pid=79795&id=100000227014223
Wen: ok gross. why did you show me that
me: because it's like a car wreck...can't look away and want to point it out to others
Wen: it wasn't a joke. i thought it was, but it's a real advertisement for someone's design. And it looks like they used a camera phone to take the shot
me: right?!
Wen: it looks like a ten year old's art project
me: I know!
Wen: it looks like a picture someone would display in a picture frame made out of Popsicle sticks
me: hahaha
me: Oh, wait wait...yes! http://copelanddesigns.com/
Wen: they look like costumes
me: http://www.myspace.com/copeland_designs
Wen: OH DEAR GOD
me: oh god, it's just so good. I hate to admit this, but Devan dresses well; there's no way she likes this shit
Wen: how can anyone?? i know hippies who might, but they pull it off better
me: what are you talking about, I love brightly colored taffeta on fat girls
Wen: i'm gonna wrap this tulle around me and tie the ends in a ribbon that mounts on my head!
me: fashion!
Wen: birthday cake chic

No Comment

The Snuggie Sutra.

We Don't Blog About Work...

Because we like the idea of keeping our jobs. But when others blog about work, particularly in animated fashion, I think it's safe to link you. And to comment that it's funny, because it's true.

Bright spot

I'm percolating with rants I haven't had the opportunity to write, but I will quickly share the bright spot in my day (thanks SS). I often have trouble deciding what to eat for lunch. I brainstorm what's around me, try to determine my mood, usually end up drinking a diet coke and pouting instead. But no more! I now have The Wheel of Lunch.