It's a shocker, I know. But one of the ridiculous reality programs on MTV actually accurately portrays the life of one group: the d-bags of the Jersey Shore.
I had my bachelorette party last weekend, and because Vegas is too expensive and far away, we went to Atlantic City. Wow. Let me just say wow. I have never seen so many tiny but muscle-y, orange men in my entire life. And they are super aggressive.
But, it isn't like they have any game - at least any game that I recognize. Granted, I have been in a relationship for a long time, but I think there are some things that are just universal.
For instance, it is not charming or cute to yell at a girl, "Hey, Bachelorette. It's my bachelor party, and we can have sex until tomorrow." In case you are wondering what I replied, I told him he didn't meet the height requirement.
Other things that are not cute:
1) Grabbing ass on the dance floor when the club turns the lights out (however, that did lead to one of the more quotable nicknames of the party. The "butt bongo pirate" was coined by MR. Well done!)
2) Coming up behind a girl and rubbing your crotch on her while grabbing her stomach. No one touches my stomach.
3) Unbuttoning your shirt down to your belly button.
4) Fist pumping
5) Excessive hair gel
6) Tanning until you turn orange. Seriously, orange.
In spite of - or perhaps because of - the men of the Jersey Shore, I had a wonderful weekend. Thanks to the ladies - including my fellow bitch Elle - for making it a great send off to my single lady status. But, I do still hate you all for the tiara and veil.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment