Vanity Pounds

A while ago Elle and I shared a conversation that we had about the phenomenon (common mostly to women) where you aren't fat, but you are fat for you. We were seeking help to name it. We got a couple suggestions from readers (thanks again), but nothing really encapsulated that feeling.

Well, last week I was talking with some friends. One friend had been reamed by his trainer for chewing a piece of sugarless gum. Now, given the recent diet I was on (and incidentally completely failed at), and the mounting evidence that artificial sweetener does contribute to weight gain, I semi-understood why the trainer freaked (However, one piece of gum? Really? It isn't like drinking a whole Diet Coke - or as I like to call it, the nectar of the Gods. But, I digress). Well, another friend said that it was funny his trainer freaked out, because on the Biggest Loser one of the tips the contestants are given is to chew gum. But, they are chewing gum to avoid eating a whole cake. These people have seriously weight to lose - in some cases half their body weight. They are basically one drive-thru trip away from diabetes or a heart attack. But, my friend (and most people I know) are simply trying to lose vanity pounds. That's why crap like sugarless gum matters! We have to go to extraordinary measures to lose a few pounds, because most of us are at a healthy weight.

So, that's my submission to the conversation. Let me know what you think. And, if the term vanity pounds catches on, I am totally trademarking it.

(Note to any attorneys - or recent bar takers like my fiance - I realize that I cannot actually trademark a terms without trademarking it for some product. Don't stifle my creativity with your endlessly annoying need to demonstrate legal knowledge. Go pick apart a procedural drama and leave our blog alone!)

UPDATE: Just informed by Elle that the term vanity pounds is kinda widely used. Whatever, the Donald tried to trademark "You're Fired!" so I am well within my rights here.