(Yes, we're going to rip on Tyra on a weekly basis. Those who object will be banned from the readership.)
Tyra believes that she is America's Next Top Model. This is the problem. Every cycle, when she says "one of you will be America's Next Top Model," what she means is "I am America's top model and none of you little bitches will ever challenge my title." This is why no one on that show ever goes on to modeling success.
How else do you explain her appearing between each girl's photo shoot--shot by Tyra, of course. Memo to the Tyrant, being a model doesn't make you a photographer. Deal with it. Get me Annie Leibovitz--wearing different colored head scarves, talking about the girls' performance, doing crazy shit with the scarves and making her ridiculous accents. And of course, there were choice self-love quotes (from memory):
"The reason you had to unwrap my whole body from that huge scarf is because you're going to wear head scarves in your photo shoot." Right, because that makes sense. Clearly the same thing.
"You're going to wear head scarves, so you're going to look like me when I go to bed." Yes Tyra, you and every other chick with your hair type, which is roughly an entire ethnic group.
"I was really excited to shoot Ashley because she was my girl that I found on my talk show and now I'm shooting her during my television show." Fuck it, Ashley wins.
Tyra, look into shock therapy.
Jay Manuel is actually a totally decent art director. I don't know how he puts up with this.
And what the balls is Tyra (and Hillary Duff at that) doing on Gossip Girl next week? I feel a shark jump coming on.
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That show should really be called "America's Next Star of a Deodorant Print Ad." Tyra's an industry joke, and clearly a failed person. I was totally convinced of this during the "check out my natural hair" episode of her talk show. I can't imagine anything more irresponsible than to contribute to giving a generation of black girls a complex by wearing excruciatingly expensive weaves for decades only to show them your "real hair" washed, relaxed and barrel-iron curled. Solid concept, poor execution. Just like everything she does these days.
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