My co-worker and I took such a long walk to a long lunch today. On the way back, we first encountered this...
In case my blackberry isn't making this clear enough, that's ass cleavage. Hard core ass cleavage. And it's wrong. Shockingly, upsettingly, terribly wrong. It's also accompanied by grey fashion-victim-trying-to-wear-as-many-second-hand-designer-labels-at-once Uggs. It's still summer. Cooler temps or not, it's not time for Uggs. (I leave it open to debate whether there's ever a time for Uggs.)Next, as if our eyes had not been assaulted enough, we were greeted with this...
Those, my friends, are purple leggings, worn as pants, with darker purple flowers on them. I know. Trust me, I know. Now, leggings as pants is controversial to me. I worship the Fug Girls and respect their opinion that "LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS!!" and I once had two beers (not one, two) poured over me in a bit of a bar fight because I told a size 8 that her thighs look huge when she wears leggings as pants. (That bitch cut the bathroom line at a crowded bar, you can't blame me.) On the other hand, having spent my undergrad education in California, I'm forced to admit that I believe that a very few people can pull of leggings as pants (WX, I'm looking at you) and perhaps worse still, I have to say that I think Lindsay Lohan looks alright in them (I know, I know, credibility gone).
BUT most people, myself included, look like they have huge thighs when they wear leggings as pants. And NO ONE--I repeat NO ONE--looks good in light purple leggings with dark purple flowers on them. I defy you to disagree.
And I still hate DC.
haha way to call wen out. i'll admit she was the first person i thought of when reading this...leggings PLUS uggs. but you're right, she's the only one that can pull it off. no one else.
ReplyDeleteI love that your reaction to being angry about her cutting in line is to tell her that her thighs look huge.
ReplyDeleteI once got pissed at a lady for dragging her stroller up the escalator during rush hour on Metro I and ended up hurling similar insult at her. It made no sense, but it felt so good.
I also physically removed her from the bathroom stall she cut in line for. I was a little drunk...but bitch was fat in leggings.
ReplyDeleteAnd strollers on the metro escalators are wrong. And strollers on the metro period during rush hour are wrong. And people who drag strollers up the metro escalator during rush hour on the left side where you walk deserve to be insulted in whatever way occurs to you at that very moment.
And Kat, I'm glad you agree with my leggings assessment. Fear not, I think you're the only one who can wear short shorts--particularly white short shorts.
Haha, what about shirts as dresses? Because I still do that, and I will continue to do so until you tell me that I can't anymore (and I trust that you will).
ReplyDeleteI would tell you if you couldn't...but you totally can. And it bugs me!
ReplyDeleteHow do we feel about skinny jeans? more coverage and hold than leggings, but are they still offensive? I'm hoping the answer is no, as I've spotted a nice black pair at BR; however, I'm counting on you Bitches to tell me the truth!
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