Two Ugly Things Happened at the Cal Game

One, of course, being bitchface.

The second, in case you missed it (and I'm not particularly advocating you watch it--it's pretty gnarly--but I just wanted to give you the option)...



Jahvid Best is a god on the football field, Cal will miss him desperately for the remainder of the season, and we two bitches wish him a speedy recovery.

Pardon Me, But I Believe You Have a Case of Bitchface

So, a couple weeks ago, a friend of mine got incredibly drunk and hooked up with some chick none of us had ever seen before at one of the alumni Cal game viewings. Not being as drunk as he was at the time, I tried to stop him. "Look," I pleaded, "she's not very cute. You're being fooled because you're very drunk, she's acting like she's attractive, and she's wearing tight clothes. In the morning, you're going to find that she's a couple sizes too big for those clothes and she has an ugly face." In the morning, he found that I was right.

Now, this girl is lame, and I guarantee you, you know someone like her. She is the kind of girl who wants very much to be perceived as cool, and so does a perpetual, over the top Regina George impression. She conspicuously gets up, walks around, makes a show of saying hello to multiple people, talks loudly... She's a trying too hard ho with bad skin and frizzy brown hair with a single streak of white highlight on the left side of her face and a real bad case of bitchface. Disgusting.

Well, she disappeared the following week, and we were all sort of hoping she was a collective bad dream...though the friend who hooked up with her knew differently, for she is also the type to purposely leave something behind in the hopes of getting a second date. Seriously, girl is gross.

But no no, she re-emerged the week after, got wicked drunk, kind of fell all over the place, and threw herself at the friend she'd hooked up with. Like not a little toss, full on threw herself to the point of getting jealous every time the friend talked to any of his female friends (myself included) and admonishing him for "paying attention to plain girls instead of her." Really, Ugly? Really?

Well, this week she was back (and the friend she hooked up with was not), and early on in the game, she made a loud announcement that she was tripping over things. Annoyed at her continued loud (and what I assumed was once again inebriated) behavior, I asked the two friends she'd made from our table if they could please stop bringing her. Next thing I know, I'm in the ladies room and the following conversation ensues (reconstructed to the best of my ability)...

Bitchface: I think we need a minute.
Me: I really don't think we do.
BF: Well, you said something kind of aggressive to my friends.
Me: I mean, I don't like you. I don't think we need a minute to discuss that.
BF: OK, but you don't even know me.
Me: Well, no, not well, but I still find you really annoying. And you were acting a drunk 'n bitchy fool last time I saw you.
BF: I wasn't drunk. Who are you to say when I'm drunk?
Me: OK, well, in that case you were acting like an idiot sober. Doesn't make it better.
BF: OK, I guess our personalities might clash, but I graduated before you, which means I have more right to alumni events than you do [eds note: this is your argument? really? I don't even know when she graduated or why I've never seen her at events pre-the bad idea hook up if that's the case, but she knows like maybe 5 people] so don't tell someone who's not even an alum and someone who graduated after me not to bring me places.
Me: I'm pretty sure I'll tell anyone anything I want, but thanks.
BF: Ok, well, you enjoy the game in your little Converse.
Me: Thanks, you enjoy it with your bad skin and your frizzy hair and your ugly highlight.

Now here's my question: Who the fuck has a problem with Converse?

It's Hard Out There for A Cal Fan

I know quite a few Cal fans read this blog, but I am willing to hazard a guess that most of Elle's friends were not around for the dreaded Holmoe years. I learned as a wee freshman that being a Cal fan is rife with disappointment and heartbreak.

But, after the most abysmal year (our 1-10 season where our only victory was a post-season game with Rutgers that had to be rescheduled because of 9/11) I think in Cal's history (but, if I am wrong, I am sure someone will straighten me out - I don't want to do the Google search, deal with it), we were given a gift in the form of Jeff Tedford. He has been deified by all Cal fans - including Elle - and with good reason. He brought Cal football back from the brink.

But, it is still Cal football. And that means there will always be disappointment. The Bears can snatch defeat from the jaws of victory - I have seen it with my own eyes many times. For all you Cal fans that read what us bitches think, I wanted to share this piece that a friend of mine found in the Wall Street Journal. I think it summarizes the Cal fan experience quite nicely. Thanks GM!

Make no mistake, I will never lose faith in my Bears. And, I hope to see them play in the Rose Bowl sometime soon (and I hope I can afford the tickets when they finally do). Sadly, I also will never be surprised when another promising season doesn't turn out as I hoped.

What's the Different Between Tedford and God?

Trick question. Tedford is God.

Happy Saturday, y'all. Go Bears!