It’s true that in the porn industry, XXX stands for adult. But, in the real world, they are not synonymous.
I really don’t understand all these former Disney princesses who seem to think that the only way they can demonstrate they’ve matured is to whore it up big time. Look at Miley’s predecessors:
Britney Spears – former Mouseketeer, huge recording artist basically before she could drive, and then massive train wreck by the time she could legally drink. She kept giving interviews where she expressed that she wanted people to stop seeing her as a little girl and take her seriously as a mature artist. So what did she do? She dressed more and more provocatively. Her lyrics became even more sexual, and she got married on a bender in Vegas. Next thing you know, she’s shaving her head and having control of her finances taken away.
And then there’s Lindsay Lohan. Remember how cute she was in the Parent Trap? Or how innocent she seemed in Mean Girls? But she wanted to be taken seriously as an actress, so she stopped wearing panties and made that horrible movie where she plays twins separated at birth and one is a stripper or something. Now she’s been to rehab more times than Danny Bonaduce, and has been replaced by Malin Ackerman in that movie about the porn star in the 70s.
If you want to be taken seriously as an adult, make adult choices. Look at Taylor Swift! She’s quietly turned 21, without showing the world her lady parts or having the paparazzi photograph her stumbling out of some night club.
Perhaps the problem is just a lack of talent. I cannot imagine that it is that hard to play Hannah Montana – despite the fact it’s technically two characters. You just need to be able to deliver a pun and a pratfall, right? I would think the hardest part would be interacting with Billy Ray Cyrus as your dad – but wait, Billy Ray is her dad! I guess that’s what you do in Hollywood to make up for a lack of talent – you act scandalously and dress scantily. I mean, it’s working for Megan Fox.
Showing posts with label stupidity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stupidity. Show all posts
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Friday, July 17, 2009
Pay Close Attention, There Will Be a Test
My new favorite thing in life is people who list He's Just Not That Into You among their favorite books and are still in patently terrible relationships.
On an almost weekly basis a friend or acquaintance relates a barely believable tale of dating trespasses to me, and then asks me what (for the most part) she should do about it. My answer is always a) tell him that was fucked up and/or b) dump him.
A guy who likes you doesn't do mean stuff. That's not to say they don't make mistakes, but they don't consciously do things to hurt you. And in particular, if something is happening repeatedly, he either doesn't know it's mean (tell him) or doesn't care (dump him.)
So, having dispensed this sage advice a good 300 times over the past year or so, I've occassionally thought to myself "I should write a book." And then I remember, there already is one that, in concept (I've never read it) addresses this very topic. Thus, a plan was born: a new edition of HJNTIY with a reading comprehension test in the back. Genius!
My favorite example of this girl is my (37-year-old) brother's (22-year-old) girlfriend. She has a high school education, is unemployed, and lives with my brothers (who, yes, in their late 30's, live together.) Her entire Facebook profile (which has no privacy protection and is endlessly entertaining) is about how much she loves my brother, the purses he buys for her, and church, which he makes her attend.
Not too terribly long ago, she thought he was cheating on her because he inappropriately texts his ex-girlfriends, so she flipped out, keyed his car, told his job that he cheats on his expense reports and, for reasons passing my understanding, called my parents and told them all sorts of horrible lies about me. Crazy? Absolutely. But she was like 20. We were all dumb when we were 20. Not that dumb, but dumb. But should she damn well have left his ass? You betcha, because you don't stick with a guy whose exes are still talking sexy to him. Nope, got back together a week later.
For several months (in venues as public as Facebook) she's been saying she expects a ring on their 2 year anniversary in August. He says he can't afford one right now. Favorite Books: The Bible, Captivating, The Greatest Miracle in the World, Don't be That Girl, and of course He's Just Not That Into You.
On an almost weekly basis a friend or acquaintance relates a barely believable tale of dating trespasses to me, and then asks me what (for the most part) she should do about it. My answer is always a) tell him that was fucked up and/or b) dump him.
A guy who likes you doesn't do mean stuff. That's not to say they don't make mistakes, but they don't consciously do things to hurt you. And in particular, if something is happening repeatedly, he either doesn't know it's mean (tell him) or doesn't care (dump him.)
So, having dispensed this sage advice a good 300 times over the past year or so, I've occassionally thought to myself "I should write a book." And then I remember, there already is one that, in concept (I've never read it) addresses this very topic. Thus, a plan was born: a new edition of HJNTIY with a reading comprehension test in the back. Genius!
My favorite example of this girl is my (37-year-old) brother's (22-year-old) girlfriend. She has a high school education, is unemployed, and lives with my brothers (who, yes, in their late 30's, live together.) Her entire Facebook profile (which has no privacy protection and is endlessly entertaining) is about how much she loves my brother, the purses he buys for her, and church, which he makes her attend.
Not too terribly long ago, she thought he was cheating on her because he inappropriately texts his ex-girlfriends, so she flipped out, keyed his car, told his job that he cheats on his expense reports and, for reasons passing my understanding, called my parents and told them all sorts of horrible lies about me. Crazy? Absolutely. But she was like 20. We were all dumb when we were 20. Not that dumb, but dumb. But should she damn well have left his ass? You betcha, because you don't stick with a guy whose exes are still talking sexy to him. Nope, got back together a week later.
For several months (in venues as public as Facebook) she's been saying she expects a ring on their 2 year anniversary in August. He says he can't afford one right now. Favorite Books: The Bible, Captivating, The Greatest Miracle in the World, Don't be That Girl, and of course He's Just Not That Into You.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
