Stupid Names

I really don't understand how people come up with the names (and supposed corresponding pronunciation) for their children. No, this is not a post about kooky celebs who want to name their kids Apple or Kalel. This post is about the normal folks who perhaps think they are being clever or creative but instead put a big fat mark of "my parent is uneducated" on their kids foreheads.

Now, as a T-A-M-I Tami (as opposed to a T-A-M-M-Y Tammy), I think I have a right to cast judgment on those who get creative with spellings. Luckily, my parents didn't get too creative (e.g. Tammiey or some such hideous misuse of the alphabet), so I can cast judgment from a place of superiority :)

Let's discuss the whacked out names of the cast members on this season of Real World (yes, I still watch - so sue me). We have the normals - Derek, Joey, and an obligatory CJ (seriously, isn't this like the 18th CJ in the 22 season history of the show?!), and then we have the girl with the normal name and silly spelling: Emilee. That sort of phonetic stuff reminds me of when I was 4 or 5 and thought "my" was spelled M-I, because I hadn't learned about the magical letter Y yet. But, considering the relative normalcy of that, we can leave it alone.

Considering her age, I would assume Jasmine's mother was a big Aladdin fan. Seriously, rule number 1 of naming a girl - do NOT name her after a Disney princess. You might this is cute, but no - just no (for the record, I am not a fan of Ariels either).

Next we have Jonna. Now, you might think, hey, that name doesn't look so weird. But it is allegedly pronounced like John A. Rule number two of naming a girl - do NOT give her a name that isn't pronounced how it is spelled. We do not have accent marks in the English language, so you cannot make up accents because you feel like it makes your kid more exotic.

Next is Ayiia. Rule number three - any noise a small dog makes when it or its tail gets stepped on is not a suitable baby name.

Finally, we have Bronne. It is almost pronounced like Brawny - you know, the paper towels. Look, if you insist on giving your kid a stupid name that makes him sound like he is a super absorbent brand of paper towel, just go for broke and spell it correctly.

Unnecessary letters and "unique" spellings do not make your child seem more interesting, creative or special. And no one thinks you are famous because you insist upon a dumb naming convention. Just suck it up and buy a baby book - or be honestly creative (just check your spelling).