Facebook Archetypes

CNN, in all of their reputable newsiness, have put together a list of the 12 most annoying Facebookers. They left off everyone with an STFU site already dedicated to them, but they did capture my personal pet peeve: "The Sympathy Baiters."

Since we're on the subject, I'll point you to an oldie-but-goodie post from the blog of our inspiration, 2 Birds, 1 Blog: 20 Male Poses of Facebook.

Amen!

STFU, Marrieds chronicles the disgusting coupledom that breeds on Facebook--people see other people being disgusting and coupley and married on Facebook and suddenly everyone thinks it's OK. Or worse that it says something negative about your relationship if you and your significant other aren't disgusting and coupley all over the public place. As someone in a relationship that feels no compulsion to list it on my Facebook profile, I'm letting you in on a little secret: It's gross and annoying. And I'm glad STFU, Marrieds is on my side and publicly shaming the over-romantic among us.

Oh, and people from high school, if you end up on the site, I submitted you. God love the south...

(Thx MD)

IJM is the New FML

Look, I realize that FML is the greatest thing to happen to the internet since TFLN, which is the best thing to happen since Facebook, which is the best thing to happen since YouTube and before that AOL chat rooms were still cool.

Nonethless, I'm sick of the constant complaining that is now justified by ending the complaint with FML. "I have a pimple, FML." "Stubbed my toe, FML." "I had just mediocre sex last night, FML." Look, your life isn't fucked, you're just normal. Something ranging from a minor annoyance to an actual bad thing happened to you today...and also to everybody else.

Someone once told me that a friend of hers found out that her boyfriend was cheating on her by going through his text messages and finding one from his ex that said "I can't do anal any more, I'm getting hemroids." That's a legitimate fuck my life situation. She submitted it to FML and it got voted down--no no, the readers prefer things that couldn't make their whining pale in comparison.

So this weekend I made a commitment to myself that I would be incredibly punctual this week--no more running into the office 5 minutes late, no matter what the red line is doing. This morning, I was perfectly on time, caught a red line train just right, was going to be the last person to fit on, and my contact fell out. I had to run back to my apartment and replace it and I ended up 20 minutes late, which cost me personal time. FML? No. It's just Monday. IJM. Pass it on.