All I Want for Oscars is Good Fashion

As previously mentioned, I treat award shows as a cross between a sport and a holiday. For Christmas, I want Burberry...and for the red carpet I want pretty much the same thing. I've been so busy bashing this year's movies that I haven't really gotten around to bashing this year's award show fashions.

So, a note to all you Hollywood starlets out there: no more dresses approximating your skin tone. Nothing else with oddly placed ruffles or applique. And just because Julie Andrews makes strange choices and decided to be in The Tooth Fairy for reasons that pass understanding, if your dress makes you look like Tinkerbell, just say no.

The makeup looked good. The hair we'll give a pass on since no one in LA knows how to handle rain, but come Oscars red carpet, we want to see real colors detailing that's interesting, not strange. If everyone could follow January Jones and Marion Cotillard (and my controversial pick, Kate Hudson)'s lead , that would be fantastic. Thanks.

2009 Was a Bad Year...For Movies

Sure, Time called 2009 the end of the decade from hell...but they didn't even mention how bad the movies were. One of my favorite holidays, the Golden Globes, took place on Sunday. Usually this is something I prepare for, like some sort of sport (award shows and Restaurant Week are the closest I get), but this year I didn't get around to looking at the nominees until right before the awards. I was horrified when I finally went to fill out my ballot...

The Proposal?!?! It's Complicated?! Hell, The Hangover?! I loved The Hangover. I laughed the whole way through. It was really funny. But is this an award winning film? Really? In that case, Forgetting Sarah Marshall and 40 Year-Old Virgin were totally robbed. And do I really have to live in a world where Sandra Bullock won a Golden Globe for playing the mother of every guy on my high school football team, but slightly less racist? If she wins an Oscar, I swear to god...

Speaking of the Oscars, the Academy this year returns to their old format of nominating 10 films for the Best Picture category. Here's my question: what fucking films? Can't we just mail the statue to James Cameron and save ourselves the time and energy?